In this episode, Mark and Steve address a questions submitted by a listener—
"Can you discuss the dynamic of being the spouse of an addict who is not a believer? In my marriage there has been sexual addiction and he is 2 1/2 years into recovery/sobriety but we are now dealing with the dynamic of a sexless marriage. How can we make the transition to a healthy sexual connection void of a spiritual connection?"
First, we need to be clear about what "healthy sex" is and is not. (for a deeper dive on this, see PBSE episode #23: Healthy vs. Toxic Sex)
- Healthy sex begins with a strong emotional/spiritual connection. It's all about "what you bring with you."
- Seeking to understand and then to be understood.
- Focus/appreciation on your partner as a "whole" as opposed to selective "parts."
- Physical intimacy is a gauged physical expression of a point on the Connection Spectrum.
Second, we also need to be clear about "Spirituality" vs. "Religiosity."
- Religion is an institution/organization of spiritual concepts, doctrines, structure, ordinances, core tenets, etc. Spirituality is the "relationship accompaniment" to religion. Religion gives me a definition of God; Spirituality is coming to know and communing with God.
- Healthy Sexual Intimacy is a coming together of physical bodies AND spiritual bodies. A key to a truly connection relationship is finding the "commonalities" and "intersection" of our individual spiritual beliefs/worlds. A true coming together.
Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling
Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services Here's a great article on the "Brain Science" behind porn and sex addiction—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/brain-science-porn-sex-addiction Here's an article about healing Betrayal Trauma—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/healing-betrayal-trauma-video Want to learn more about HOW to break free from porn?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/overcome-porn-sex-addiction Wondering if your marriage can survive porn and sex addiction? This article will give you some hope—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/can-marriage-survive-porn