In Episode 194, Mark and Steve respond to what may be the most brief situation and question ever submitted to PBSE. It comes from a sex addict trying to reconcile with his partner. Here's his submission—
"How can I reconcile my infidelity and my care for women’s rights? My wife says that I’m lying to myself, but I feel like I do care about #metoo. Like, wtf???"
In this episode, Mark and Steve get raw and real about HOW a porn/sex addict in recovery can most effectively project his authenticity and higher self to his partner. First, Mark and Steve talk about "obstacles"—
Obstacles:
- Lack of trust
- Lack of empathy
- Caught in victim mode
- Lack of accountability for the past or future commitments
- Unwillingness to collaborate
- Lack of shame resiliency
- Ego Defense Mechanisms (Pride, stubbornness, machismo, ego)
- Incorrect paradigms surrounding sexuality, connection, etc.
- Addict/Survival Resistance mentality
Then they talk about the "solutions"—
Solutions:
- Actively seeking and developing trust-building experiences
- An openness to other paradigms and ways of doing things (input from a spouse, therapist, group members, friends, etc)
- Practicing and growing in active account-ability and response-ability
- Developing vulnerability and mindfulness
- Practicing & developing self-worth and confidence
- Sobriety
- Consistent follow-through and change in working to fix cultural and cognitive distortions regarding sexuality, connection, etc
Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program—"Dare to Connect!" You have live access to Mark and Steve in 3 one-hour sessions every week—addicts, spouses and couples! And live support groups on weekends, facilitated by Mark and Steve! To try a free, 2-week trial, visit—daretoconnectnow.com
Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services
