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How Do I Know if My Spouse is an Addict or Not?

In this episode, Mark and Steve address a common question submitted by a PBSE listener— I have listened to many episodes of your podcast. They have all been very helpful. My question is: Do you consider every man who views porn an “addict” or “sex addict?” My husband confessed to viewing pornography (no other acting out) for the last two and a half years. He can describe the events that led him to cross that line in our marriage. He has told me on two different occasions that he was tempted and was able to identify the feelings that triggered him for both times. I’m in a support group with other women and most of their husbands were addicted to porn as a teenager and brought it into the marriage and have been viewing porn for 10, 20, 30 years. I know that my husband could slip or relapse. I’m just wondering if you ever encounter clients who get sucked into porn through a stressful time but sought help early enough, say a year or two. Would they be considered addicts as well? I am assuming since porn is addicting that could be the case? Thank you both for your dedication to the podcast and the topic of pornography. Here are just a few of the things Mark and Steve discuss—

  • What IS the Definition of Porn/Sex Addiction?

  • Addiction is a spectrum - not an on-or-off switch

  • What are the consequences/outcomes of addiction?

How to determine if he is an addict and the depth of his addiction—

  • What level of insight/vulnerability does he display?

  • What is he doing (ongoing) to cope with difficult feelings and emotions?

  • What is his level of reactivity?

  • What does his capacity to empathize look like?

  • Is he present/engaged in sex?

  • How open/safe do you feel with him?

  • Are you comfortable asking him hard questions

Learn more about Mark and Steve's new online program—"Dare to Connect!" You have live access to Mark and Steve three times a week--addicts, spouses and couples! Visit— Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services Here's an article that can help you learn more about HOW the brain works in sex/porn addition and HOW to set healthy boundaries in recovery—

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