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My Addict Spouse Can’t Help His Bad Behaviors Because He is “Powerless”—Right?

In this episode, Mark & Steve respond to a spouse's heart-felt description of the EXTREMELY traumatizing situation with her addict partner. Her words JUMPED out at Mark & Steve and they have a LOT to say to her and her partner!!! Here are the words she sent in to PBSE— I have been married to my husband for 10 years. We have 2 young children and I have been aware of my husbands addictive sexual behavior for several years. We have had many D days, a few breakdowns from both of us, broken promises, attempts at counseling with no consistency. The behavior seems to ebb and flow. It is typically pictures, videos, texts but has gotten physical in the past. He is now involved physically with someone, this was discovered by me. His initial reaction was that he is not able to feel ‘happiness’ , is always searching, and this physical relationship is a result of acting out via texting that grew to more. His words- he has been unable to end this relationship, yet he states he would like to keep our family intact, he loves me and is struggling. He has not ended this affair, and I am broken pretending for my kids that all is well. I have listened to all of your podcasts. I know this is crazy that I am living this pretend life while he continues with this relationship. It is eating me alive.

I understand addicts are powerless over their addictions, he has said many times he is unable to stop and how desperately he wishes to. How can I ‘accept’ this continued affair relationship until he gets good help, knowing he is ‘powerless’ at the same time. If he is truly addicted, then I understand he cannot stop on his own. I just cannot continue to pretend for my kids sake any longer. Thank you for everything you do.

Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program—"Dare to Connect!" You have live access to Mark and Steve in 3 one-hour sessions every week—addicts, spouses and couples! And live support groups on weekends, facilitated by Mark and Steve! To try a free, 2-week trial, visit—

Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services

Here's an article on "True Intimacy vs. Sex" in a Marriage Relationship—

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